Cross-cultural communication requires knowledge and a conscious effort to overcome possible misunderstandings, this extends to adjusting one's behavior to reach a compromise between two parties from different backgrounds.
I recall an incident which took place during my study trip to Japan 2 years ago: a male classmate was interested in a girl from the counterpart university and asked her out for dinner. As I was seated beside her, I heard the entire conversation. After he asked, the girl replied in an apologetic tone, "chotto...it is…"(but..it is...), but before she could continue, my classmate said, "I am sorry for asking you so suddenly". She replied, "A...daijoubu da" (I am okay). The moment she said that, he went on to said, "Okay! Then I will see you tonight".
Then, I knew my friend has misinterpreted her reply as "It's okay" and thinking that she is fine with going out with him. I knew she was not accepting the invitation to dinner but was instead replying "I am okay" to his second statement. As Japanese tend to be more subtle and do not reject an invitation directly, an apologetic tone is often a sign of rejection. However, my friend did not recognize the initial hesitation as a sign of rejection due to his carelessness in the interpretation of her words. On the other hand, the girl probably felt that he was impolite for interrupting her before she could complete her sentence and that he did not understand her hesitation was a sign of rejection.
From this incident, I realized that effective cross-cultural communication requires not only patience but also careful consideration each others' culture before making a judgment.
Hi Shu Yan,
ReplyDeleteYour post is very interesting and exemplifies a misunderstanding due to culture difference.
In you scenario, the Janpanese girl is from high-context culture background where there is no need to spell everything out especially when rejecting someone.
Apparently your friend is from low-context culture background. He is probably used to express his thoughts and feelings directly. Due to his lack of awareness of culture difference, he misinterpreted the girl's euphemistic way of rejection.
As pointed out by you, effective cross-cultural comunication requires careful consideration each others' culture before making a judgment.
"When in Rome,do as the Romans do" For this senario, your friend as a "visitor" should do more homework on learning the host's culture.
Thank you for sharing. Have a pleasant vacation.
Yinbei
Dear Shu Yan,
ReplyDeleteHaha no doubt a very interesting read as I was not expecting boy-girl matters on an essay about intercultural behavior.
As YinBei pointed out, the interaction between people from high and low context culture defintely requires a bit more consideration out of our normal range.
The post is clear, direct and succint. You could perhaps have ended the scenario a little later. Like maybe include how the whole situation eventually ended.Though this is mainly because I am interested to know if the girl will go against her culture and speak out directly that she is rejecting the offer. :)
Si Xiao
Hi Shu Yan,
ReplyDeleteI find it an interesting read. This is a good example of exchanges between low context and high context culture.
I find your post clear and concise. As Si Xiao had suggeseted, I would also like to know the ending. Hopefully this post can provide some tips to people who are looking to start off a cross cultural relationship. :)
Regards
Kenneth
Dear Shu Yan
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to sum up and perhaps conclude with a lesson learned.
Regards
Happy
Hello everyone!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments and since you are interested in the conclusion, you don't have to keep guessing.
The girl did go to meet my friend but she brought along another girl from the same school. My friend knew that she wasn't interested because she was always busy chatting with her friend and only occasionally talking to him. It is really a pity, because he did not enjoy the outing alot.
True as Yinbei has mentioned, my friend is from a low-context culture background and the girl from the opposite. However, to have effective intercultural communication it takes more than awareness of the different culture background but also paying more attention to the language you speak - especially when it is not your native language.
I seriously believe my friend would not have made such a rash judgment if he had asked for the help of someone who is more culturally-in sync with the Japanese students. The person might have been able to prevent the misinterpretation of the girl's sentence.
I hope I have shared an interesting experience with you and glad you have enjoyed reading something different.
All the best for midterms.
ShuYan
Hi Shu Yan,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very intriguing post. You have kept it very succinct and easy to read. As for the scenario, I think it provides a very good example of the need for good communications skills as a whole and the need for knowledge.
Firstly, indeed, was the mistake made by your classmate in not reading up and understanding the culture in Japan and I think this is especially the case when being exposed to a high context society like those in Asia. One has to be cautious with one’s words and actions as these can be misinterpreted easily.
Secondly, I think he could have been spared the unenjoyable outing, as you have mentioned in your conclusion, if he had been a bit more patient. He did not give her a change to finish what she was saying and interrupted her at her first couple of words the moment she responded. Seeing this, I feel his nervousness was the major problem as if he had been slightly more patient, he would have been able to listen to everything she had to say and make out the tone at the same time because I feel in spite of a high and low context society, as humans, he should have been able to infer the correct meaning from the tone of her whole sentence. This would only have been possible if he had followed the most basic rule of communication - listening. And your quote above highlights my point!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post.
Regards,
Prameet